Last week, Resolution continued their annual campaign: ‘Good Divorce Week’ to help people find a better way to divorce and raise awareness of the ongoing family court crisis.

For many, divorce is an extremely emotional and worrisome time in which often someone does not know where to start or who to turn to for help. Even for those fortunate enough to remain amicable with their ex-partner, navigating the practical obstacles divorce can bring remains no easy feat.

For those in the midst of a relationship breakdown, the prospect of having a ‘good’ divorce can feel downright impossible and for many who have gone through it, ‘good’ and ‘divorce’ are not two words they would associate with each other! But with 113,000 divorces in 2021– up nearly 10% on the previous year - it is more important than ever for those going through a divorce to understand what can be done to help all involved move forward with their lives more easily.

There is no magic formula for a ‘good divorce’ but the following are a few pointers that may help:

1. Seek legal advice at the very beginning
   Understandably, a lawyer is most likely the last person you would wish to speak during such a difficult period in your life but being able to obtain clarity on your situation and understand the road ahead will enable you to feel more informed about the decisions you end up making, especially if you are also planning on separating finances and making child arrangements.

2. Be sure to look after your well-being
   An upheaval in your life such as divorce can feel like your world has been turned upside down. You may have feelings of worry, shock and even anger and so it is vital that you are sure to look after your own well-being both mentally and physically throughout the process. Having a support network around you is invaluable, whether that be family, friends or organisations that can provide access to resources like therapy.

3. Keep the heat down
   It is inevitable that even in the most amicable of divorces, there may come a time when it can feel tricky. If possible, taking a step back and resisting the urge to get involved in arguments over small points can really benefit in the long run by bringing the overall stress level down and leading to a quicker conclusion.

4. Treat court proceedings as a last resort
   It is not news that the court system is struggling. Only recently, was it reported that there is a 110,000 case backlog in the family courts presently. Parties are therefore much better suited to agreeing matters outside of court and it is strongly advised that alternative methods are used to help parties do this, such as mediation and discussion through lawyers. Court proceedings are lengthy, expensive and not to mention emotionally burdening. President of the Family Division, Sir Andrew McFarlane has recently urged parties to separate well and consider the wider impact acrimonious proceedings can have on the family as a whole.

5. Make the most of useful resources
   There is a plethora of useful resources to take advantage of. Doing research online can equip you with knowledge and guidance to help you better consider your separation and keep costs down. Just to name a few examples:

a. Family Mediation Voucher Scheme - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)
b. Splitting up | Resolution
c. How to separate - Citizens Advice
d. Parenting together - Cafcass - Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service

Divorce is a stressful and difficult time and although there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach, applying the above principles can be a good place to start. If you are going through a separation and would like some advice, our Family and Matrimonial Team are here to help. Please contact us.

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